my loverly cass cass found this, much much amusement had.

http://www.holylemon.com/HighOffSmoke.html

gold

all ive got, all ive gone is insane

I push my fingers into my eyes
It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it’s made of all
The things I have to take
Jesus it never ends
It works its way inside
If the pain goes on
I'm not gonna make it!

OMG michaels drunk! run!!!
anyway, you all know what that means! a nice drunk'n' post!
so tonight was the last time i may possibly see some people from school! i dont know what to think. kinda interesting, i mean i may see some again during exams etc.. but will i notice them and or care that i do see them! more importantly should i care. i think too much thats what i do! sorry! ill just say what is always on my mind that you have all heard a millions times and shall hear it more and more and hopefully undertsand it and what not! I LOVE YOU!cassie i love cassie SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really really do! i mean that with my whole heart and soEL and i dont just say that when im drunk cuz i only mean it when im drUNK! hell NO! i mean it all the time! when ever something happens to me during the day all i think is 'is that important enough to tell my lovely wonderful cassie! i just dont know most of the time either! shes just so wonderful i just dont understand how i am so lucky to have found someone that is just so wonderful and marvous.. that likes me! ME... little old me that wil be woken up in about 5 hours so his sister can do work! thats gonna hurt.. at this rait i will have only gotten about 4 hours sleep. and will be up all the day.. trying to do homoework so i can go out and see my loverly cassie.. i picked her some flowers on the way home! was so random.. some of them are kinda interesting seeing them in the lgiht for the first time! ... hmm.. i might make them look better ebfore i geive them to her.. i think they are too crapy for her.. i hppe she likes them... im not going to the breatfast tomorrow... i kinda in a way.. wish i was.. not only because im feeling hungry atm.. but more for the fact that i might see some of thoes people that i wont care that i wont see again.. you never know what could appen.. maybne i will actually care that i wont see them again! peopel seem to be able to talk to me easy.... oh well.. im not complainig.. it was so good to spend some time with marina and rachie today.... during the graduation... cassie is so cute she asked me how it went! she cares about me! do you know how great it is to have someone that cares SO very much!! im so very luCK!! i dont understand it!! i reallyt dont!! argh!!! shes so wonderful! she could have someone SO much better then me.. but she doesnt want anyone buyt me..... im SO SO SO SO luckY!!!! i miss you cassie! cassie i get to see you in about 12 hours..ahahhaha. think of all the things that im supoost to do before then.. i dont know when ytou will actuallyt read this... i know i will have sent time with you before you read this..... i may even be with you when you read this or going to your house or some thinkg like that. i kinda burnt my hand... .AGGAIN!!.. oh well... its not as bad as last time... im not as dunkt as last time either!! i should of gone to the cas with craig and rob and van. and yeah... but i guess i didnt spend any moeny... hahahaha.. girls are so nice.. i was the 'officaly drink tester' making sure their drinks where ok.. or non possioned or something.. i dont remember.. but i had more then doudle what i came with .. not to meantion what nick was SO SO SO kind to donate to the michael is an alcohol caurse! .. tahts me i gues.... do you know that you hsould not hold back because its galvanize...
its so weried thinkigfnt that i wil never go to that school again.... well.. i will.. but not for formal lessions.. i just have art and exams to do.... oh my.. thats kinda scary.. htne i will be expected to go to uni.. and make something for myself.. i dont know if its too late for me to be able to get soemthing resionable or not.. i hope so.. hahhahahahahaha .nicks dad saw craigh attack me.. hahahha. poeple that know me will know what that means... hahahhaha... anyway.. i guess i should stop this.. for some reason... i think its so i can do something eles enstead of just constantly trying to no noe for over 20 mins.. i well actuallly technally its only been 16 mins.. but that can be rounded up. but atht is alot of trying when you thin kabout it.. just scrow up.. that is al done in 16 mins.. that is erather fast for a fdtrunk person... hahahah... anyway.. iwas going...... but i realy dont want to miss a think of you cassie.. i dont care what it is.. i really do love yo uwith all my heart and soul!!! i really REALLY do... your everything that i could ever ask for!!! when i htink of you i just..... cant believe how WONDERFUL you are... i just cant help but love you and think of you ALL the time... cassie..... i love you... there is just SO much meannig behind those words...
i wonder what your dreaming of right now! ... if the world was perfect then .. i hope it would be me your dreaming of... im so selfish when it comes to you.. i just want you to me.. i just want you to look at me.. and tell me all that you fell... i just dont want to miss anything of you.... cassie i really do love you more then anything in the world.. im sorry reast of the world.. but i just cant help my feelings... if my name was stacy then i would yell out that i love cassie.... i really do love you cassie.. i really really do! .. im gonna close my eeys right now an ssee what comes out.. hahah . i beat its all stuffed up copmared to what it ususaly is! hahahh .. ohj well.. i think i cana open them nowii i dont know if i dd too bad sometimes.... anyway.. i was going about 4 mins agao.. im been writing for 20 mins. thats oms eogog trytping..

skip the above part...
just read this
I LOVE CASSIE!
thankyou

i love you like a fat kid loves cake.

i would loss a game of starcraft for you.

thankyou

spending so much of my time doing... study.. (not playing games or being on msn) has given me more time to just think, by myself, bout nothing really. its got me thinking bout basically everything, everyone, that is my life; got me thinking bout just how different what i am to myself is compared to what everyone else seems to think and see of me. i am just so very lucky to have all my friends that care so much for me and thats not even including the love and devotion i get from my dearest cassie.
i dont understand (or ever will) what everyone sees in me, i could write a whole essay on this but with all the time i have spent doing or trying to do homework, the times im not with cassie or not doing homework i feel guilty for not doing either. now i also feel sorry for not spending as much time with my friends over this time. i can give myself some weak sort of excuse that you, the ones that are in year 12 too, are studing also. sigh, life is as hard as my mind decides to make it.
i should be off and study for the last two test that i have before exams.
once again. thankyou to all my friends, friends of the past (you shall never be forgotten), and anyone that has shown me any sort of kindness, i really do mean it, thankyou.

ill leave you with a few wise words from a song that seems to say all that i could and more :P
'dont stop, nigga hit it.'

sometimes

sometimes i just want to turn my brain off,
sometimes i just want to be normal,
sometimes i just want to be alone,
sometimes i just want to scream,
sometimes i just dont know why i feel the way i do,
and those sometimes are right now...