anyother day in the life of...?

well, today wasnt really that much of a great day, people where trying to cheer me up. saying that i should be happy, that i'm a better person when i'm happy. why dont they just leave me alone, i just want to be by myself, doing my thing.

well... last night enstead of staying up and watching EVA i tryed to go to sleep and went to bed. i just lay in bed for about 2 hours just thinking. not really about anything but not about nothing. my mind kept on going back to one topic, the only topic part of me wanted to think about, the same part that wouldnt let me go to sleep but the other part didnt want to think about it and so i didnt. finaly getting to sleep from extra tiredness. i hope i can sleep tonight, i cant think stright because of my tiredness, i'm forgeting things. i guess its only been one really bad night. its not as bad as it has been before so i guess i cant complain.

dont you just hate it when you are trying to do something but cant do it, no matter how many times you try. well i'm having that problem right now with the 3rd string on my guitar, i just cant seem to get it into the right tone.
i dont really have anything more to say.


you did not choose him, he choose you

First of many...?

i dont really know why i am doing this, i guess the real reason i am is because i am interested in just what i will end up writing and what, if i do show it to others, they will think.

its madness to wait....

send in the clowns

last time i decided to make a blog, i posted two times and then stoped because i was told that it wasnt happy or funny enough but thats me, i'm me and if people perceive that as funny, happy or sad. i really dont care. in a way the only thing that matters is how i percieve things, even if that is in a wrong or stupid way.

i think that i sould watch neon genesis evangelion again, although that probly isnt the best idea because i will be up most if not all of tonight watching it but i guess i will just sleep all of tomorrow and not go to school, after all i already have a headach from lack of sleep. sometimes it's great having a sleeping disorder and other times its crap, hmm, now that i think about it. i really cant think of any time that it is really a benifit.

sometimes i feel like writing and other times i dont. i wonder if this is actually interesting to other people or if its just interesting to me as a way of doing something, a way of passing the time untill its late enough for me to have a chance of actually falling asleep. we will see i guess, or sould i write 'i will see', because i dont know if anyone will bother reading this or not and even if they do weather they will actually make it know to me that they have.

i'm sure that i should stop now and start doing something else.
cheers

What her crimson eyes believe in...